Chapter 23 Kundalini and Worldviews 3

The most important consideration in managing a process of spiritual development is the individual’s humble acceptance and ready cooperation with the holy process that is taking place. The ego cannot solve the dilemma of being cornered by the Divine, but the soul knows what to do if the ego will let it. Through sincerity, persistence, patience, and openness to the Divine will, the individual will attain the strength and wisdom to prevail through the process of spiritual transformation until the goal is reached. 

Joan Harrigan – Kundalini Vidya: The Science of Spiritual Transformation

One of the best books I’ve read which describes the experience of Kundalini rising using a scientific platform is one written by Joan Harrigan called “Kundalini Vidya: The Science of Spiritual transformation”. Although, from her writings, it is very apparent that she falls squarely into the worldview of “New Age”, her descriptions, explanations, exhibits and guidance provides the best and a most accurate picture of my kundalini experience, despite being seen through the eyes of one with a Theism worldview. (See previous postings for description of Theism and New Age worldviews)

What I have discovered from this is that we have a lot to learn from each other, despite our worldview. The humility that Joan speaks about in the opening paragraph above must include an openness to receive from those who may see the world different from ourselves. 

Whether our worldview is Naturalism, Theism, or New Age,

our anatomy has been created in a way that each of us can participate in the miracle of creating new life through the union of the male sperm with the female egg.  One with the worldview of Theism sees this built-in biological process of child birth as a manifestation of God entering our history and creating us in a manner that makes this possible. 

In the same way, I can’t help but be awe-struck at the possibility that this same creative energy that leads to the miracle of childbirth has the potential to give us rebirth through an 

evolutionary process called kundalini rising. This miracle of design for creating a spiritual rebirth (all be it in a different way) is also built into our anatomy. However, most people are either unaware of it, or intimidated by it, because it seriously conflicts with their restricted worldview. So now I would like to move to the questions that I asked myself at the beginning of these postings on worldviews: 

Is there an ideal worldview? What is our worldview? What determines our worldview? How can we change it?

To answer the above questions, let me offer this as my humble observations based on what I have experienced so far in life. 

My life time has been an experience of an expanding worldview. It is continually expanding outwards. I like the parable in the Gospels where Jesus says: “The Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed, the smallest of all seeds, but when planted, becomes the largest of all shrubs, where the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.”

This speaks about expansion and the fruits that flow from expansion. You become a place of security, comfort; a place where others find “home”.

So an ideal worldview, for me, must be one that is expanding and growing. 

What is our worldview?

If it is expanding and growing now as it has in the past, then we may be able to know what it is at this moment, but that does not mean it will be that way tomorrow. The river that we are seeing at this moment is not the same river that is present one minute, one hour, one day from now. The waters have moved on, and something new has replaced it. So it is with our worldviews.

What determines our worldview? 

In the past, and therefor in the future, what determined our

worldview is our willingness to be open too and embrace each experience of life as it comes our way. This required that we be open to all experiences, all people who interacted with us, all work of the Divine in and around us. Our worldview is shaped mostly by what has been given to us from those sources in our life's journey. There would be very little expansion of our worldviews if we only focus on the constructs of the ego that we create in order to see ourselves as static, fixed and permanent.

How can we change it? 

Through the humility of being open to all that life is offering by way of gift and grace, the expansion of our worldviews will happen. I do not know where this might lead.  No one really knows: But it might be described with words such as: reaching our fullest potential, being at one with God, enlightenment, etc. etc.




The Road Ahead

My Lord God
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this,
you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost and in the
shadows of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils along
Prayer of Thomas Merton (1915-1968)

Chapter 22 Kundalini and Worldviews 2

We are faced with a smorgasbord of worldviews, all of which make claims concerning truth. We are challenged to sort through the mixture of worldviews with wisdom. People who are struggling with worldview questions are often despairing. They have a need to define the good life in order to discover hope and meaning and to unify and guide thought and action. These needs are experienced by all people, either consciously or unconsciously. All of us have a worldview with which we strive to meet such needs.

James Soloman Article on Worldviews

In my last posting, I presented three worldviews that are prevalent in our society today. They are (1) naturalism (2) theism (3) new age. Please see my previous posting for description of each.

The question I would like to deal with in this posting is: How

does kundalini rising affect our world view? Does kundalini rising collapse our worldview, or does it just dismantle certain aspects such as boundaries, defense mechanisms, constructs, etc. caused by negative influences of childhood trauma and other habits and hurts we have experienced during our lifetime?

When I experienced kundalini in 2005, I first thought that the

experience caused a collapse in my world view. I described this experience in a previous posting as both confusing and liberating; confusing because of the loss of self-definition, liberating in that I was no longer driven by old defence mechanisms or defined by restrictive boundaries.

Upon studying the above worldviews, I am now of the view that kundalini rising did not cause a collapse of my worldview. My worldview both before and after the experience was one based on theism as described in the previous posting. What collapsed was all or most of the emotional charges that were connected with an inappropriate application of this worldview in my life. In other words, my own ego content erroneously and unconsciously assumed as a result of negative past life experiences. Let me give you an example.

In the past, I experienced the sub-conscious need to justify my position in respect to my faith to others. When I was confronted with a skillful debater, I felt intimated, threatened, and fearful. I experienced the symptoms of “fight or flight” which is characteristic of the ego. I was concerned about feeling stupid, and my reaction to this would often be to keep my opinions to myself, or agreeing with the other just to avoid an argument. A long, rigorous, and tedious process of psychotherapy could possibly have rooted out the cause of this reaction and provided the means to overcome this problem. Kundalini was able to eradicate this problem instantly without any psychotherapy.

It seems that all or many of our negative past experiences that have not been properly digested are stored like energy charges in the human sub-conscious. This would be found in the “chitta” area of the mental sheath, the unconscious storehouse of past impressions and imprints. (See previous posting on the archetypal model used to understand kundalini). Kundalini, in making its accent through the subtle body, acts as a divine healer, dismantling all past undigested energy particles that (although unconscious) cause us to react to events in a certain way.

Since kundalini rising, I no longer experience the need to justify my position in respect to faith or anything else. I am more than happy to share my position with anyone who will listen, not for the purpose of changing their view, to appear clever, or to win an argument, but to establish a loving connection between them and myself.

This is one example of many changes that I have noticed.

Another very positive result from kundalini is that now all outward actions on my stage of life seem to largely correspond with my inner worldview. I no longer fight with myself to live in accordance with certain inner standards or ethics. They seem more in harmony.  The fruits of this are the fruits of the spirit found in the letter of Paul to the Galatians – love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.

My conclusion is that kundalini does not collapse our worldview but purified “chitta”, the unconscious storehouse of past impressions and imprints to bring healing to the subtle body.  It’s a powerful healing energy that dismantles negative and undigested energy deposits built-up over a life time of experiences. In the Eastern religions, these energy deposits would be called negative Karma. In Christianity, it would be called the effects of original sin.

Chapter 21 Kundalini and Worldviews 1

Worldviews act somewhat like contact lenses. That is, a worldview should provide the correct "prescription" for making sense of the world just as wearing the correct prescription for your eyes brings things into focus. And, in either example, an incorrect prescription can be dangerous. Thus it's important for us to give attention to the formulation of the proper worldview. 
James Soloman – Article on Worldviews

As a result of kundalini rising, I’ve come in contact with the word “worldview” many times. Kundalini rising has also been described as an experience that either collapses or severely alters ones worldview. Therefore, I have an interest in exploring this term in order to deal with questions that come to mine such as:

Is there an ideal worldview? What is my worldview? What determines my worldview? How can I change it? 

Arthur Holmes states that the need for a worldview is fourfold:

1. the need to unify thought and life;
2. the need to define the good life and find hope and meaning in life;
3. the need to guide thought;
4. the need to guide action."

For this posting, I would like to describe three worldviews that are prevalent in our society today. This is certainly not all of them; however, I suspect most of us will fall into one of these or have ingredients that are predominating in one.

Naturalism

The basic tenet of this worldview is that God is not relevant. It’s a worldview where progress and evolutionary change are inevitable. People are autonomous, self-centered and will save themselves. Education is the guide to life, and intelligence and freedom will guarantee our full human potential. Science is the ultimate provider both for knowledge and morals. In more recent times this worldview has moved to a postmodernism with the conclusion that truth, in any real sense, does not exist. We see these tenets today in the media, government, and education system.

Theism

The basic tenet of this worldview is that there is an infinite-personal God who has created the universe out of nothing. People were originally created good in God’s image, but for reasons (depending on the religion) we have become infected from our true nature, and the conditions that give rise to this infection continue to exist and influence us today, but we are endowed with values of the creator. Death (in its many definitions) is either the gate to life or separation depending upon the response we give to God’s provisions. The guidelines for conduct are revealed by God. Reason and experience can be legitimate teachers, but a transcendent source is necessary. We know these things because they are revealed through scripture. History is a linear and meaningful sequence of events leading to the fulfillment of God’s purpose for us. We see these tenets in our places of worship and to a lessening degree in society which seems to be transitioning to Naturalism.

New Age
The basic tenet of this worldview is that there is no ultimate

distinction between humans, animals, or the rest of creation. Since all is one, all is God. All of life has a spark of divinity. If all is one and all is God, then each of us is God. People must discover their own divinity by experiencing a change in consciousness. But we currently suffer from a collective form of metaphysical amnesia. People travel through indefinite cycles of birth, death, and reincarnation in order to work off what is called “bad karma. People who have this worldview tend to think in terms of gray, not black and white. As a result, they can believe that two conflicting statements can both be true. These tenets are currently asserted through various media such as books, magazines, television and movies, but have also found support in the fields of medicine, psychology, sociology and education.

In our culture today, we are faced with a variety of worldviews, all of which make their claims concerning truth. Of course, we are all faced with the challenge to sort through this mixture of worldviews with some wisdom and discernment. When we do this work of discernment, then we may develop a worldview that will orient us towards an intellectual and philosophical terrain that will bring wholeness and fullness to our lives.

This raises the question about kundalini and worldviews that I would like to deal with in my next posting. Does kundalini collapse or dismantle our current worldview, or does it just collapse or dismantle certain aspects such as boundaries, defense mechanisms, constructs, etc. caused by negative influences such as childhood trauma and other habits and hurts we have experienced in our lifetime?

Chapter 20 The Inner Journey

As I search for your love, you always come to me,

You are so beautiful, you make my heart run free.

As I look for your love, shining on your face,

You are so beautiful, you fill me full of Grace.

You are my love, you are my hope, you are my liberty.

Send me your love, send me your hope, you make my heart run free.

All the days of my life, I will follow you,

You are so beautiful, you make my dreams come true.

We often think that God is way out there, apart from us, distant.  But that is far from the truth, far from reality.  We experience God as we journey inward, not outward into the world of changing things.  The mountain where God wishes to establish His home, that highest mountain where all nations shall stream towards too find justice and to be instructed in the truth, is not some far away place.  It is within.  We are so caught in this outer visible reality -- what we see, what we need and want, what we feel and think -- that we forget and ignore the reality within, God’s Dwelling place.  We search for Him in distant places, or in our activities, when all that He requires of us is to be still, and journey within; away from the visible; away from the surface. 

St. Theresa of Avila calls it journeying within the interior castle.  Many of us are caught on the outside.  We feel isolated from God, unaware of His plan for our life because we do not venture to where He is.  We must leave this outer place and enter into the inner chamber where He dwells.  The first outer room begins to bring us to some awareness that He is present.  We begin, or at least to desire to conform our outward actions with that inward intuitively call; to bring them in line.  As we venture further in, we experience more of the warmth of His love.  It touches and soothes our soul, and brings it into deeper awareness that something special lies ahead, something we want to be a part of.  We experience an inner awakening to spiritual things, marked with peace, love, gentleness, understanding.  We not only dare to journey on, we desire to move on.  

As we enter deeper into this inner chamber, this light and love grows more intensely.  It exposes us to our own darkness, unworthiness.  We sometimes feel very unclean in the presence of such purity, yet the light and love have a transforming effect on us.  It actually transforms our darkness into light.  That which we cling to, or clings to us, fall away, and the inner chamber of our hearts begin to glow with the spirit.  We experience the living water that wells up within.  We experience the light that transforms.  We experience a passionate desire to be united with the light, spirit to touch spirit, soul to touch soul.  

The outer reality is still there, but sufficiently secure that we no longer seek after it.  What now consumes us is our desire to enter deeper into this new reality that transforms and saves.  So we go on, often guided only by our thirst for that which lies in secret, in silence. 

Occasionally, we touch this inner reality.  Love meeting love.  We've arrived home, nothing can surpass the experience of finally arriving at the place sought, but only for a moment, and then some distraction, some thought, some feeling carries us away.  Yet even these touches of grace are sufficient to keep us steadfast in our journey. 

We now dare to venture out into our outer reality, carrying with us the remnants of light, grace and love to be shared with others.  They are such fragile efforts, mere tokens of love compared to its source.  They are mere fragments of gold dust taken from the burning fire that lies at the center of our being, but offering them is like offering our greatest treasure.  They are offered with fear at first, with apprehension that they may be rejected, not seen by others as something of immense value.  But later they are offered more freely, accepted by some, and not by others, but that’s OK.  It’s important that they are offered, given freely away, in imitation of their source.   

Isaiah

"In the days to come, the mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established as the highest mountain and raised above the hills.  All nations shall stream toward it.  Many people shall come and say: Come, let us climb the Lord’s mountain, to the House of God of Jacob, that He may instruct us in His ways, and we may walk in His path.  O House of Jacob, come.  Let us walk in the light of the Lord"

Chapter 19 Dealing With Resistance From Others

A potentially negative aspect of kundalini awakening is that sometimes even a profoundly positive experience can be so markedly different from the individual’s usual worldview that they have trouble incorporating the experience into their prevailing belief system.  For example, an individual who had been raised Christian and was a practicing Christian up to the time of the spiritual awakening might feel great guilt, anxiety, and depression if their experience cannot be easily accepted into the Christian paradigm.  Individuals may even feel reluctant to discuss their problems with members of their family or clergy because they fear they may be labeled as crazy or heretical.

Andrew Newberg, M.D. – Article from book Kundalini Rising

One of the hallmarks that I experienced from kundalini rising experience was the major renovation to the area of the mental sheath called ahankara, where the ego resides.  The function of this area of the “subtle body” is one of self-definition and self-concepts.  The boundaries of the personality, attachments, aversions, and ingrained habits that create our sense of I-ness can be found here.  These are the life time of constructs that give the illusionary ego the appearance of concreteness and permanence, and they are guarded by the ego because its very existence is based on their survival.   The divine physician uses kundalini to dismantle these illusionary constructs so that the “True Self” may become the captain of the ship.

The dismantling of many of the constructs of the ahankara during kundalini rising left me with two problems:

First, my worldview that existed prior to kundalini collapsed, and what was now present was something far more spacious, undefined and boundless.  This collapse included the constructs that previously existed in respect of my Christian Religion.  So the first problem was the confusion that resulted as to how to integrate this new way of seeing into activity that was done previously under an old and different world view.  

The second problem, and perhaps the more difficult to resolve was how to handle the outright rejection of this spiritual experience by those who would see this change as falling outside of the boundaries of their Christian faith.

The first problem I've dealt with somewhat in the previous posting.

The second problem has been resolved in my own mind from the use of Christian scriptures of which I am more familiar, but I’m sure it is contained in the scriptures of other religions as well. 

In Romans, a dispute has arisen among believers as to whether it is proper to eat meat that had been offered in sacrifice.  Some thought it was all right, others did not.  Paul’s advice:

1.  Accept others, for God accepts them

Romans 14: 1-3

Accept those whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.  One person’s faith allows them to eat everything, but another person, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables.  The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted that person.

2.  Focus on serving, not judging

Romans 14: 4

Who are we to judge someone else’s servant?  To their own master they stand or fall.  And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

3.  Focus on God

Romans 14: 5-9

Some consider one day more sacred than another; others consider every day alike.  Everyone should be fully convinced in their own mind.  Those who regard one day as special do so to the Lord.  Those who eat meat do so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and those who abstain do so to the Lord and give thanks to God:  For we do not live to ourselves along and we do not die to ourselves along.  If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 

4.  We are all accountable only to God

Romans 14: 10-13

Why then do you judge your brother or sister?  Or why do you treat your brother or sister with contempt?  Let us stop passing judgement on one another.  Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.

Kundalini is a spiritually transforming experience that can draw us into greater relatedness with God.  It does not all fit in the Christian paradigm, and neither is there a good archetypal symbol in Christian literature to explain it.  It does not need to be explained or justified to those who cannot believe or accept it for whatever reason.  For those who have received it, you are blessed, and I share a special affiliation with you.   

Chapter 18 Kundalini and Sexuality

A most significant change to me has been the growing sense of a relationship between the kundalini process and sexual energy.  It seems that, in some manner, excessive sexual activity has a profoundly negative effect on my experience of kundalini.  There is no longer any question of having sex for the mere purpose of physical pleasure; sex without love brings very painful consequences to the brain for reasons that I still do not understand.

Phillip St. Romain – Kundalini Energy and Christian Spirituality

I've really appreciated Phillip St. Romain’s candor and honesty on his sharing of the kundalini process, particularly in regards to its relationship with sexuality.  There is just no question that when this mysterious process begins, there is an immediate association with the ecstasy, bliss and spaciousness of sexuality.  In fact, the flow of the prana energy to the brain begins in the pelvic area of the body in the locations of the root and sacral chakras.   

Two points I would like to make in this post.  The first point is that kundalini rising certainly causes a substantial change in sexual patterns from what was previously experienced.  

The second point is that the blissfulness associated with kundalini energy can be very addictive.  If we become too self-identified with the desire for bliss, versus the purpose and intention of the kundalini process, we may fall prey to ego inflation.  To avoid this, we must remain closely in touch with the purpose and intention of kundalini rising. 

This is beautifully expressed in Buddhism in the Attitudes of Bodhisattva where the primary focus is always "how can I dedicate my life in the service of others".  Three principals to keep in mind as to the purpose of Kundalini, and our intention for moving deeper into the process towards enlightment:

1.  We must continually renounce the way of life that is not conducive for spiritual growth

2.  We must see our gift as an opportunity to be of service to others

3.  We must be willing to move from blissfulness to emptiness, or enlightenment

This is also expressed in the Christian teachings on the Beatitudes, the first being:

Blessed are the poor in Spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God.

The blissfulness of kundalini is a great gift available to all so as to allow us to know God and to enter into union with God, and thereby to enter into union with each other.  

Chapter 17 Kundalini - A Graced Filled Moment

What about experiences of kundalini in the other great branch of the world’s religions --the Judeo-Christian/Islam branch?  To be sure, these religions take a very different approach to salvation.  Where Eastern religions begin with human beings reaching out to the divine, Western religions begin with the divine reaching out to humans.  Eastern religions emphasize practices that transform the human to a divine being.  Western religions emphasize divine grace as the transforming energy, without which human beings remain little more than beasts.  The East offers sophisticated spiritual “technologies”, specifically designed to divinize the person; the West offers very little in the way of “how to” spirituality, emphasizing instead faith and love.  The East regards the Ego as an obstacle to the experience of God; the West sees grace working in and through the Ego to bring about transformation.  

Phillip St. Romain – Kundalini Energy and Christian Spirituality

Several years ago, while reading “Awakening The Buddha Within” by Lama Surya Das, I was quite impressed by the Lama’s two page commentary on the transformation process that accompanies the discipline of the eight fold path, the subject of his book.  The question that arose in my mind was: “How does this differ from the Christian experience?”  I then typed out this commentary on my word processor, changed all the Buddhist’s words to Christian words (such as Buddha to Christ, Dharma to Scripture, and Sangha to community) and presented the results to the Pastor at my church to get his impressions. 

He said that he really liked it, but one thing he noted was missing – the Sacrament of Baptism. 

Therein, we discover one of the main differences between the East and the West in regards to an approach to salvation as outlined by Phillip St. Romain above.  “Sacrament”, which is instilled in the minds and hearts of Christians at an early age, is understood to be an outward sign, instituted by Christ, to give grace.”  In Christianity, the focus and emphasis lies on divine grace as the sole and underlining source of transformation at the spiritual level. And it is largely understood as a source or power that exists outside of oneself.  To acknowledge or believe otherwise borders on heretical.

This created a “big question” that I would have to confront and am confronting as a result of kundalini rising.  How is it possible to reconcile a life time of indoctrination on Western Christian Spirituality and its particular focus on “saved through Grace” with the transforming experience of kundalini that could only be understood (at least by me) based on an Eastern archetypal model of the subtle body?  And this archetypal model offers what Phillip Romain above called the "sophisticated spiritual technologies” specifically designed to divinize the person. 

And further, the kundalini experience itself did not leave me with a strong basis for discernment since, once released, it moved with its mission to collapse all the constructs that I had built over the years that created the illusion of this separate or false “self” we call ego. So a lifetime of these constructs that related to my Christian religion and God were dismantled with all the others.

Although I don't pretend to have an answer to this "big question", I have been able to reconcile this difference in my own mind so as to not only appreciate the gift of this spiritually transforming experiences, but also to remain committed to my own Christian faith practice.    

For me, new life begins as we die to our false selves in order to enter more fully into this mystery we call God. Thomas Merton's words have resonated with me for some time:  "The greatest joy on earth is to be freed from the prisons of our own false self, and to enter with love in union with the One who dwells and sings in the essence of every creature and the core of our souls".  As we surrender all that is false within ourselves to God through Grace (a dying to oneself), then we discover our true selves in union with God.  During the course of my retreat, this is what I earnestly prayed for. 

Through Grace, this was accomplished through this process called kundalini rising. Creative life energies, originating for reproduction purposes, are available to be used to give rebirth to the living organism in which they are contained. 

Surrender, as I had posted previously, cannot be made to any known object, but only to God.  To surrender to an object is only furthering one's own self-definition and self-importance, the ego.  Surrendering is the giving of our own mysterious self to the ultimate Mystery we call God who creates, energizes, sustains and called us forth. 

For me, through God's grace, Kundalini became the instrument of change, to draw my whole being into greater relatedness with God by freeing me from the prisons of my own false self, and for that, I am eternally grateful.   

Chapter 16 The New World

Voice of the Ego and Voice of the True Self

Ego Traits                                              True Self Traits

Flatters                                                 Informs
Commands                                           Suggests
Tests                                                     Guides
Chooses for you                                    Leaves choice to you
Imprisons                                              Empowers
Promotes dependence                          Promotes independence
Intrudes                                                 Respects
Pushes                                                  Supports
Excludes                                               Includes
Instills fear                                            Promotes well-being
Becomes bored easily, not at peace    Realizes peace when doing nothing
Is status oriented                                  Is free and open
Judges                                                  Accepts individuality
Demands obedience                             Encourages growth and development
Implies having ultimate authority        Recognizes a Higher Power
Offers shortcuts                                    Offers integration
Seeks personal gratification                Extends unconditional love

The idea of having an “ego observing practice” as a form of an examination of conscious, I feel, is not only very beneficial but necessary for spiritual growth over a long run. During my mid-thirties, I went through a period of introspection which would probably fall into this category. I found it very useful in learning to know myself, and making the changes that were necessary to live a fuller life. Since I am a person who is intuitive-feeling in accordance with the Myers-Briggs personality scale, the feelings generated from my response to life’s situations were often used as a gauge to discern whether the approach I used was leading to a greater sense of wholeness and well-being, or whether it was leading to a diminishment in the person I wanted to be.

Barbara Whitfield's chart (above) from her article in the book “Kundalini Rising” provides an excellent reference to what we can expect as we move away from the isolation, alienation and selfishness we experience from excessive ego involvement to that sense of oneness with others, the experience of community, and selflessness in service and commitment to the greater cause. The healing of my emotional pain, at that time, was taking place through the normal routes of remembering, forgiving, modifying self-concepts, resetting values and all of the other hard and tedious work that accompanies the journey through the shadow of the ego.

But the rising of Kundalini in my late fifties was an entirely different process. Phillip St. Romain, in his book “Kundalini Energy and Christian Spirituality” expresses it so perfectly.

“In attempting to understand the relationship between the kundalini process and the non-egoic state that resulted from it, I have come to believe that a thorough transformation of the unconscious has been accomplished. No matter how hard I look, I cannot find a trace of emotional pain concerning my past. This amazes me more than anyone else for as a therapist I am aware of how very little clinical work I did to arrive in this state.”

Remarkable, it is as if we become a witness to our own transformation, as the wisdom of kundalini makes its journey through the subtle body, making all the changes that are necessary to dismantle the constructs, boundaries, self-defense mechanisms, and conditioning caused by past life experiences (even the ones we are not consciously aware of) to place us squarely into that new space of the true self. Even though our awareness of past events is still all in tact, the affective memories or emotional connections with them are mysteriously gone, and as a result, those events no longer have a hold on us as they did before. The landscape of our world has changed, which is confusing because of its lack of familiarity, but liberating because, at last, one feels free from the prisons of their old false self.

My discipline now is only to maintain a healthy physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual lifestyle which is conducive for the flow of kundalini which continues relentlessly and faithfully to do its work.

Chapter 15 - Bodhisattva Attitudes

We spend the first half of our life becoming “special”. That’s part of the journey, part of our development. But in the second half of life, or when our journey of spiritual growth becomes apparent, being “nobody special” allows us to become all that we can be.  It’s the ingredient and paradox that gets our sense of self, alone and in relationship with others, out of the way so our “True Self” can emerge.  And it is a relief in every present moment to give up roles of who we think we are and instead just be.

Barbara Harris Whitfield – Article from Kundalini Rising

In my reading during the past few weeks from my “kundalini” references, I've discovered  many articles and postings relating to the “ego”, the danger of ego inflation during the kundalini process, and the power of the healing that comes through an observing ego practice.  Since the kundalini transformation process, from my experience, is a renovation of our subtle body system of which the ego is a part, this is certainly a subject of which we should be familiar. 

It seems to me that key to the avoidance of ego inflation is the virtue of humility, a quality that is emphasized in all the major religions of the world.  I’ve recently read that humility means: “Not” thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.  This definition speaks so vividly of the purpose for daily meditation. 

Meditation practice itself is a discipline of setting aside or passing by the “ego self” with all of its constructs, boundaries, defence mechanisms, and conditioning from past experiences, and entering the deep silence that exists at the centre of our being. Through my years of meditation, I've found this discipline to be foundational to my time of prayer and spiritual life.  Barbara Whitfield describes the twelve characteristics of humility as:  being open, an attitude of “don’t know", curiosity, innocence, a childlike nature, spontaneity, spirituality, tolerance, patience, integrity, detachment, and letting go, all of which lead to inner peace, a sense of gratitude and being “nobody special”.  All of these words speak of the experience of meditation with its ecstatic surrender to the deep inner silence that exists at the centre of our being, a centre which many, including Barbara, refer to as the “True Self”.

Kundalini rising is very different from the meditation experience.  In the Kundalini transformation experience, the "ego self" is not temporarily passed by; it is renovated.  The boundaries, constructs, defense mechanisms and cultural conditioning created by past life experiences are dismantled.  It’s as if the old world views have collapsed, and we are left initially with a sense of no longer knowing who we are.  I've described this experience previously as follows:   

"Kundalini rising has left me with an absence of what I call “self-definition”.  The ways I defined myself in the past, my self-concept, seemed to be gone.  This not only relates to the way I use to see myself in respect to my work, but also in respect to church.  My memory continued to be there in respect to all of these things, but I do not have an emotional connection with them in the same way.  They seemed to have crumbled away along with the sub-conscious visions of crumbling trucks, buildings, earth, churches and crosses.  Even my previous affective memories and concepts of God have collapsed, and there only remains the undefined, mysterious, expansive “Other”, beyond description and name."  

I believe that in the restoration phase that is to follow this process of renovation, we must heed the message of the mystics and rebuild the new house, not following the directions of ego consciousness, but the humility of the “True Self”. 

Buddhists call it the Bodhisattva Attitudes

Christians call it the Beatitudes. 

Both mean dedicating your life to others in the way you can enjoy everyday.

Chapter 14 "Paying Attention"

“Being attentive” is a gift we all have, but one that needs to be recognized and developed.  Anyone in long term family relationships know the importance of “being attentive” to the other in order to keep alive the love that is present in those relationships.  The first signs of difficulties in family relationships can usually be contributed to our lack of attention to those we love.
Fr. Laurence Freeman

This morning, I was reflecting on the scripture reading from Luke Chapter 10 about Mary and Martha offering hospitality to Jesus and the twelve apostles during a visit they made to their home.  We all know the story.  Upon their arrival, Martha becomes very busy and distracted with all the household tasks to be done in providing for her guests:  preparing food, setting the table etc., while her younger sister Mary is just spending time with their guests, particularly Jesus.  When Martha complains to Jesus about Mary not doing her share, Jesus’ response is:  “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things.  There is need of only one thing.  Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her”.

I’ve recently read a posting on twitter which speaks to this situation.  It reads:  Are you really present and actively listening to your partner, friend, mate? Listening attentively is a gift to you both!

This tweet made me aware of the importance of “being attentive”, being present to those we love.  In fact, this “being attentive” may be much more important than all the activities and plans that are constantly competing for our attention, even when they involve the very people we are closest too. 

As I spent some time this morning meditating, I became more aware that this form of prayer is really only a discipline in “paying attention”, in this case, “paying attention” to God.  The discipline of meditation is not only to stop all physical activity, our outward movement and motion, but to create an inner stillness so that we can give our full attention to God.  In doing so, we are also giving our full attention to “self”; we are loving “self” because God and “self” become one.  The same is true when we give our full attention by listening to the ones we love.  We become one. 

So the tweet that caught my attention is correct: “Listening attentively is a gift to you both”. 

There are times, and they are many, when we have to be about our activities.  And most activities have to be planned and scheduled.  However, we cannot forget that the cement that holds the building blocks of a relationship together will only be found in our listening, our paying attention, not only to God, but to “self” and to those we love. “Paying attention” and listening is a gift to both of us.