As I search for your love, you always come to me,
You are so beautiful, you make my heart run free.
As I look for your love, shining on your face,
You are so beautiful, you fill me full of Grace.
You are my love, you are my hope, you are my liberty.
Send me your love, send me your hope, you make my heart run free.
All the days of my life, I will follow you,
You are so beautiful, you make my dreams come true.
We often think that God is way out there, apart from us, distant. But that is far from the truth, far from reality. We experience God as we journey inward, not outward into the world of changing things. The mountain where God wishes to establish His home, that highest mountain where all nations shall stream towards too find justice and to be instructed in the truth, is not some far away place. It is within. We are so caught in this outer visible reality -- what we see, what we need and want, what we feel and think -- that we forget and ignore the reality within, God’s Dwelling place. We search for Him in distant places, or in our activities, when all that He requires of us is to be still, and journey within; away from the visible; away from the surface.
St. Theresa of Avila calls it journeying within the interior castle. Many of us are caught on the outside. We feel isolated from God, unaware of His plan for our life because we do not venture to where He is. We must leave this outer place and enter into the inner chamber where He dwells. The first outer room begins to bring us to some awareness that He is present. We begin, or at least to desire to conform our outward actions with that inward intuitively call; to bring them in line. As we venture further in, we experience more of the warmth of His love. It touches and soothes our soul, and brings it into deeper awareness that something special lies ahead, something we want to be a part of. We experience an inner awakening to spiritual things, marked with peace, love, gentleness, understanding. We not only dare to journey on, we desire to move on.
As we enter deeper into this inner chamber, this light and love grows more intensely. It exposes us to our own darkness, unworthiness. We sometimes feel very unclean in the presence of such purity, yet the light and love have a transforming effect on us. It actually transforms our darkness into light. That which we cling to, or clings to us, fall away, and the inner chamber of our hearts begin to glow with the spirit. We experience the living water that wells up within. We experience the light that transforms. We experience a passionate desire to be united with the light, spirit to touch spirit, soul to touch soul.
The outer reality is still there, but sufficiently secure that we no longer seek after it. What now consumes us is our desire to enter deeper into this new reality that transforms and saves. So we go on, often guided only by our thirst for that which lies in secret, in silence.
Occasionally, we touch this inner reality. Love meeting love. We've arrived home, nothing can surpass the experience of finally arriving at the place sought, but only for a moment, and then some distraction, some thought, some feeling carries us away. Yet even these touches of grace are sufficient to keep us steadfast in our journey.
We now dare to venture out into our outer reality, carrying with us the remnants of light, grace and love to be shared with others. They are such fragile efforts, mere tokens of love compared to its source. They are mere fragments of gold dust taken from the burning fire that lies at the center of our being, but offering them is like offering our greatest treasure. They are offered with fear at first, with apprehension that they may be rejected, not seen by others as something of immense value. But later they are offered more freely, accepted by some, and not by others, but that’s OK. It’s important that they are offered, given freely away, in imitation of their source.
"In the days to come, the mountain of the Lord’s house shall be established as the highest mountain and raised above the hills. All nations shall stream toward it. Many people shall come and say: Come, let us climb the Lord’s mountain, to the House of God of Jacob, that He may instruct us in His ways, and we may walk in His path. O House of Jacob, come. Let us walk in the light of the Lord"
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